With each new address — and in 15 years, we've had a dozen of them — my wife, Annie, complained about our dearth of friendships, even mere acquaintances, among our neighbors. New cities added work friends to our world, as well as people we met through socializing, often with those same work pals.
But the couple two doors down with the three teenagers? The senior citizens at the end of the block with the bountiful apple trees? The 30-somethings, like us, who sometimes sipped beer on their front stoop?
Strangers. It was maddening that it should be so.
One afternoon last summer as Annie toiled in our gardens, a couple stopped and offered praise. Annie asked if they lived nearby. Yep, they said. Just moved in, up the block.
The chat enlivened Annie, and it inspired her, too.
We had lived in the house for five years, our longest stint under a roof. We had decided that we would not move again — this street was going to be our home for decades. But we knew the names of just one handful of neighbors.
We could have knocked on doors, introducing ourselves. Instead, Annie Googled phrases like, "How do I meet my neighbors?" And stumbled uponthe neighborhood-specific website Nextdoor.com.
On Nextdoor.com, people recommend contractors. Kids offer babysitting. Need someone in the 'hood to walk your pooch? Post it on the site.
In my neighborhood recently, wind tore shingles from a guy's roof. He went online to our Nextdoor site and asked if anybody had extras. He was willing to pay. A church advertised its Halloween "Spooktacular" event. One person warned neighbors that her son's longboard was stolen from their garage; another wondered if others had noticed the wandering coyote.
When a nearby synagogue allowed homeless people to camp out in their parking lot, one resident polled the rest of us: What do you think?
New residents introduced themselves, as well as people just joining the website for the first time. Neighbors offered as much about themselves as they wanted: next to nothing, or the names and ages of people in the family, or a long list of hobbies and interests.
Within eight weeks, we co-hosted a party in our neighborhood park. About 100 people showed up — all of them fellow residents of our patch of South Boulder.
I think most of us, especially parents, have been thinking about community a bit more in the wake ofthe killing of 10-year-old Jessica Ridgeway, who went missing the morning of Oct. 5. She was walking to her nearby elementary school in Westminster when she disappeared. The tragedy remains a dark mystery. Why? How? Who? What monster chose that neighborhood, that child? The questions come in flurries, and they bewilder.
They compelled many of us to consider our own streets: the vacant house a few doors down, the pile of college kids renting the split-level the next block over, the van that has been parked at the corner for a week, the loud popping noises — champagne? Gunfire? — that sounded through the neighborhood last Saturday at 2:17 a.m.
I think we all can agree that familiarity with neighbors beats cluelessness about them, that a close-knit community trumps one steeped in anonymity and insularity.
I'm not sure how our neighborhood's cohesiveness would rank compared to others. Abysmally go-it-alone? Average? But thanks to Annie and Nextdoor, at least a bunch of us now are friendly.
Two months after the party in the park, the next event looms. Annie and a new neighborhood friend are hosting a chili cook-off and pumpkin-carving contest this month. Another neighbor is starting a wine club.
A website, of course, didn't accomplish all of this. People did. But without the site, I doubt we could have built these foundations that we can hope lead to something real. To friendships, to some sense of community spirit, to a fresh attentiveness to the people, animals, events and dwellings in this place we call home.
Douglas Brown: 303-954-1395, djbrown@denverpost.com or twitter.com/douglasjbrown
Where's nextdoor? closer than you might think
More than120 Nextdoor neighborhoods exist in Colorado, according to Nextdoor CEO Nirav Tolia. Here are some Front Range cities, with the number of Nextdoor neighborhoods in them.
Colorado Springs: 9
Golden: 3
Arvada: 5
Fort Collins: 3
Boulder: 12
Denver: 24
Aurora: 2
Littleton: 4
Lafayette: 15
Westminster: 5
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